Posts Tagged ‘weight-loss’

So, it occured to me that I do a ton of “LOOK HOW GREAT I’M DOING” posts, but I really haven’t given a fair timeline. Or, IDK, maybe I have and just don’t remember it. So, here it is.

Right now, at 05/2015, I’ve been following my weight loss/get fit plan for 2.5 years. I’ve come a long way, I’ve made amazing progress, but it’s taken 2.5 years to get here.

It has been hard, there have been seriously low times, especially when I would hit a plateau or would eat unhealthy. Especially the first year. That first year was hell. Seriously. I had SO much mental negativity. My exercise was bare minimum, I mean Biggest loser DVDs 2-3 days a week. And if I skipped a day,¬†whoa, I was super harsh on myself. I mean straight up abusive to myself. It was bad. Same with eating bad. I would eat super unhealthy one day then spend the next week in a downward spiral eating terribly and telling myself I’ll never reach my goals.

Over that first year I spent so much time learning to forgive myself and identifying what was causing me to skip out on workouts (not doing enough to push myself and really get anything out of it so I never saw results) and why I was slipping up on eating (filled out a specific form every time I consumed¬†anything which helped me identify when I was actually hungry and triggers for emotional eating). I also learned, through research and trial/error how to push through plateaus (for me I need to either up the intensity of my workouts or cut 150-200 calories from my diet for a few days and within a week to a week and a half I’d be through the plateau)

The second year was much better, I sailed through skipped gym days, although that rarely happened. Man, once I got used to the endorphins, increased energy level, and the amazement of seeing my weights get heavier and heavier from working out consistently…. it became way too easy to head to the gym. It was easy to push through plateaus and realized that it was okay to have times when I could go back to unrestricted eating for a week or so. Guilt free. But, those times were rare and I always felt like crap from eating things that really weren’t good for me.

Now, in the first half of the third year, half my dirty clothes are gym clothes and if I don’t feel sore, I’m not working out hard enough. It’s weird, I wake up and my muscles are sore and I feel great about my workout the day before, and I can’t wait to do it again. I look forward to being able to finish out my 4th set on a lift without difficultly because that means I get to add more weights to that lift. I have muscle definition happening and I love it. I still have a lot of fat to get rid of, so it’s not that visually impressive yet. But, I like seeing it, even if I still have jiggle around it. I really enjoy eating my high lean protein, tons of veggies and low to no carb foods. I spend a lot of free time looking for protein powder recipes, new lifts and fine tuning my eating habits. I talk with others who lift and follow simaler eating habits, and it’s totally the “How much protein do you consume a day?” and “Bro, what are you lifting right now?” convos. We revel in talking about how sore we are. Seriously. You should hear my friends Chris, Z and myself talk. Me: “DUDE! I upped my weights on squats and deads yesterday. If I drop something, it’s living on the floor.” Chris: *Elbow bump* (Kitchen thing) ~or~ Me: Z! I’m so tired of eating. All I do is eat now. Or look for food…. Z: Right?! I told you! You start lifting and your muscles get hungry. Eating is like a part time job for me. I had 8 eggs for breakfast. Me:…..So hungry. Where’s that left over chicken breast from lunch…..

Also, since the beginning of this year, I have moved from filling carts at Shop Plastic Land, Sourpuss Clothing, Pin Up Girl…. ect. with things I will never buy due to price – to filling up carts with exercise clothes, gym shoes, protein powders, plate weights, dumbbells…. it’s weird. I love when I catch these changes, but it does surprise me. This time last year, I was a totally different person. And, I do like who I’m becoming.

But, and while I’ve made these amazing and great strides, it took so much time, sweat, tears and mental rewiring to get here. And, I’m never going back to the woman I was a little over 2.5 years ago when I started down this road.

Takes Time

Guys?

Guys.

GUYS!

I’m running for the School Board up here. The whole damn upheaval inside me is written over in the Effed Up Blog. Over here, I’m gonna touch on what the hell this is doing to me and the weight loss saga y’all have been kind enough to listen to me whine about.

So. It’s fair to say that I have been eating away my nerves for 30 years. I mean, well, maybe not from the very beginning, but close enough.

After making the decision to run for the Board, and remembering that it’s a borough wide vote, not internal school district family vote, I’ve been having the hardest time with not eating.

I’m serious, I have been picking up and putting down some terrible foods recently. It’s been bad, really bad.

And, let’s be honest, an IP brownie is not the same as a thick, doughy rich chocolate brownie. I mean, it’s a decent compromise for the real thing, but when you want comfort foods, you want the real thing.

Eh. this will all come out in the end, I just have to ignore the 30 years of stress eating and try to soldier on.

This last weekend was bad. I gave in. I had a brownie, mac and cheese, french fries, bread, pancake with real syrup, wine and a bourbon drink. It wasn’t pretty. Like, even a little bit. I knew better, but I had someone talk about how rough running for the Board is going to be and they just went into every fear I had, When the brownie was brought out for desert, I caved. It was really, really good. Baked exactly the way I liked. Not quite baked all the way through with dark chocolate chunks dotted throughout it. I ate it. Then lunch the next day was a burger with fries, dinner was ribs with mac and cheese and the next day’s breakfast was a pancake, eggs and a bit of sausage.

Ug. I’m back at it today, with all sorts of regrets. Hate that I did that, I was about a month away from extending my tattoo. Now it’ll be closer to 6 weeks, maybe two months.

Anyway. I felt so awful after eating the bad foods, I’m hoping I won’t do it again. I was on such a roll too.

Pft.

 

I had an idea come to me when replying to a comment.

I might just have two SSBs jars going. When I get to my $100/$150 limit, I’ll decide what I’m feeling like spending out of it.

Sometimes, a cheap $20 necklace or a quiet minute in a coffee shop while spending no more than $10 is just the reward I need.

Anything I don’t spend will go into the other jar and be not be touched until the whole thing is over and I’m totally done. Then, it will go towards my new wardrobe.

‘Cuz honey, I have great tastes in clothing, but don’t have the figure for what I like. I’mma need extra cashy moneys to help fill my empty, empty closet.

OH MY WORD! JUICE!! We’ll have to go shopping together for new clothes!! It’ll be awesome!! Cannot wait.

(rare “girl” moment over, back to your day)

Welp.

I’m gonna stick with it. I like the plan, I love what I’m allowed to eat. I don’t feel well after I eat a bunch of fatty/carb heavy/sugared up foods anyway…. so… I’m going to stick with it, but give myself a little leeway if I don’t stick with it for Christmas dinner.

Being a whiny, bitchy, snot is not going to fix anything.

 

This year I have a few long term goals, and so help me, I will reach them:

  1. Stick with IP to the awesome end
  2. Get $10,000 in our OH SHIT fund
  3. Get $10,000 in our savings
  4. Get a decent shortish term investment account going
  5. Get our house de-hoarded
  6. Figure out how to de-stress my life

I’ll try to post updates every week on how the goals are coming. Or, if I’m honest, I’ll post whenever I remember / have something to report.

Aaaannnnnddddd, I’m to lazy to look.

I havent’ made any real decisions regarding IP. I do know there was a noticeable reduction in my stress level when I, intentionally, didn’t follow IP this weekend.

I’m going to give it today and tomorrow and then make my decision.

Well, I’m trying to decide whether or not to delay IP for a while.

These holidays are nothing but stress, and I’ve only gotten past one small one (Thanksgiving) with the biggest still looming (Christmas).

I don’t feel like dealing with everything that comes with the holidays. I just don’t. I’m still lost and I’m still not sure I can ever get over/past what happened last year. The holidays are a time that I find it incredibly difficult to keep up the fake “Everything awesome and I’m doing fine, life is a joy” line. And, not sticking to IP is just causing more stress. Along with making me feel like a failure for not being able to cope with my stress.

I don’t want to stop, but I’m not sure I can handle the added stress right now. Food has always been a comfort thing. Goes back forever.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just do IP for breakfast, lunch and snacks but eat regularly for dinner.

I’m not even kidding. I crawl in bed, think “I should blog” and then fall right to sleep.

pft.

Way to go, me.

Anyway, I’ve been right back to my old tricks. Follow IP all week then blow it on the weekend. I have been getting better though, at least it’s just been Saturday night and Sunday rather than both days.

I also haven’t been logging my foods. I know,¬†know, if I just blogged and logged everyday I would stop cheating.

So, that’s my new goal. Blog and log. Everyday.

Once I do it for 30 days straight, I get to get a small tattoo, or two. Also, about that time, I should be really close to getting the next segment on my nightshade tattoo.

Thanks for listening to me bitch guys. And for putting up with my yo-yo-ing and repeating the same damn habits and complaining about the same results….

Y’all rock. Seriously.