Posts Tagged ‘health’

So, don’t get me wrong here. I’m really impressed with what my body is doing.

I have arm muscles. Real, defined muscles in there. It was weird, I have never had arm muscles before. I was on the fly machine and noticed this line in my arm when I pulled in. Showed it to Seth and he looked at me like I was nuts, said simply that it was muscle definition. Still look at it in the mirror because it’s new.

Same with my ass muscles. Sitting feels different since I’ve started doing weighted squats and lunges. Do you have any idea how weird it is to have your butt feel foreign when you sit down. 30 some odd years its felt one way and now it’s different… So weird.

But, the one thing that is the hardest for me to wrap my mind around? I am hungry. All the time. The number on the scale is going down, the number on the weights I’m lifting are going up, and I’m always hungry. I mean it. I’m either eating or looking for something to eat.

Seriously. Take the other day for example:

  • Breakfast – 2 eggs, three turkey sausage patties, 1/2 cup oatmeal w/ 1/4 cup blueberries and 2-3oz almond milk and 12oz coffee w/ 3-4oz almond milk
  • Morning Snack – 16oz protein shake
  • Lunch – 6oz chicken breast, 2c steamed green beans
  • Afternoon Snack – 3 chicken tenders w/ 1/4c nacho cheese sauce (don’t judge)
  • Post Workout Snack – 4oz tuna salad made w/ olive oil, lime juice, salt and pepper, 2 slices Dave’s Killer Bread 21 Grain
  • Dinner – 20oz grilled steak, 2c steamed broccoli, 3-4c green salad w/ veggies dressed w/ olive oil, lime juice salt and pepper
  • Evening Snack – 8oz protein shake

Even with all that, I lay in bed that night and realized I was still hungry.

I’m so very tired of eating and always looking for food…. Even as I sit here and type this, having just inhaled about three chicken breasts and some veggies, not 10 minutes ago, I’m hungry and going through the mental catalog of what’s in the house for easy to eat food.

Everyone I talk to who lifts and is fit and all my research and reading on lifting for health says this is totally normal. That it’s my muscles using what it needs and the calorie burn from my exercising that is causing a HUGE deficit. It makes total sense, it really does, it’s just weird and I’m wondering if I’m ever going to get used to it.

But for now, off to find food, or a protein shake…..


That’s really the tract my weight loss has followed.

It all started about a 100 years ago when I lost about 60 pounds doing Atkins. Learned super quick that low carb was totally for me. I could live without pasta and bread, I couldn’t live without bacon.

Like I said, I lost about 60 pounds doing that. Kept it off too. Well, minus the 10 pound gain back after eating normally again. And okay, it wasn’t 100 years, that just might have been an exaggeration. It was probably more like 10 years ago.

Then, in 2013, when I really count this journey starting, I was trying the calorie counting route. Blerg. It was all egg whites and turkey bacon and steamed broccoli and chicken breast only. I went to culinary arts, man. I know how to make food taste amazing. And it’s not by watching how many calories are in it.

About 2 months into what I call Calorie Counting Ickyness, Ideal Protein became a thing. I saw how it worked for a lot of people and I hopped right up on that wagon. It totally works. If you have the extra money and mindset to stick to it – it allows for absolutely zero cheating – I suggest doing it. Only problem was that it really isn’t geared for people who are active. I wasn’t looking to just get skinny, I wanted to be fit too. (Hey, if you’ll notice I changed the title of this blog from “Skinny” to “Fit” – nice yeah?)

So, I kinda followed IP and it did work, but I wasn’t happy because I did not have the energy I needed to work out. So, I lost about 40 pounds doing it, gained back 10 when I added in carbs and normal eating.

Seeing the 10 pound gain back pattern? I did! Good reference for when I was all about the number on the scale. Set my goal for 10 pounds less than I actually wanted to weigh so I’d be at goal with the gain back.

Anyway, my super awesome friend Juice/Jen and I decided to go back on IP and keep each other accountable. Sadly, it didn’t stick, but I did get a copy of the IP for Athlete’s plan out of that endeavor. This allowed, like, half a serving of dairy, whole grain carbs and fruit along with the standard plan. I liked this. My body needed the extra natural sugar and carb boost for fitness. That lasted a good chunk into 2014 before I got tired of the extra cost of IP foods.

Around the end of April 2014 I found the best thing ever for keeping me accountable in weight loss. Diet Bet. I will now and forever sing the praises of – Holy Hell, will I never stop loving that whole deal! You have to put up your own real cashy money and either lose 4% of your body weight in a month or 10% in 6 months. It’s super simple, everyone who reaches the goal splits the pot, those who don’t reach their goal, get nothing. Amazing motivation to stick with your plan. And, I’ve made (actually made, as in not counting the money I put up) around $500. Keeping it all in the bank and going to use it for new clothes!!

Using what I learned about watching carb gram counts from Atkins and cutting out fatty stuff from IP I came up with my own eating plan. And, it’s not a diet, it’s a total eating makeover. Totally easy for me to stick to as well, I mean, there are days when the doughnut spread at work is super tempting, but for the most part, it’s not a struggle to stick to it.

Wanna know what I’m doing?

Of course you do.

Here goes. In a day I can have:

  1. As much lean protein as I want – cooked healthy – no frying!
  2. As many veggies as I want – cooked healthy – steamed, roasted
  3. One cup of tea or coffee and one cup of milk (I drink unsweeted almond) then nothing but water. NOTHING but water. I can toss some lime or lemon in if I want, but that’s it.
  4. At least 10 8oz glasses of water – I usually blow this out of the water by 11am.
  5. One serving of whole fruit – it has to be low carb/high fiber fruits: berries, avocado, apricots, lemon, lime ect.
  6. One serving of whole grain based carbs, two servings if I’m working out that day
  7. No added sugar foods
  8. Low carb whey protein powder or similar high protein/low carb drink for 2 of my three snacks out of the day – or any time I feel hungry and it’s not a meal time
  9. 90% of my fat from healthy sources – avocado, olive oil, unsweetened nut butter, nuts ect. (I say 90% because sometimes I just need bacon)

My workout day menu typically looks like this:

Breakfast:                  1-2 eggs, 2-3oz turkey sausage, 1/2c oatmeal, 1/4 berries, 2ish oz milk, coffee/tea w/milk

Mid Day Snack:         Protein shake or drink

Lunch:                       Lean protein – typically baked, and veggies – typically steamed – As much as I want

Post Wkout Snack:    Dave’s Killer Bread: 21 Grain, 2 tablespoons unsweetened nut butter, protein drink

Dinner:                      Same as lunch

Water Consumption: About 90-150 ounces. Seriously. I have a giant pink water bottle that is 70oz, I drink almost 2 a day.

Non workout days I typically have my carb at dinner – baked sweet potato (NO sweetener) or whole grain dinner roll or small serving of potatoes ect.

Now, I do have a sweet tooth flare up once in a while. And man, the doughnut spread in the Cafe…. dude. I’m there when they get dropped off. The boxes are still warm, the glaze still dripping, and smelling like they just came out of the fryer….. Yeah, it gets tempting. The protein powder I use is much sweeter than I like, so I’ll have a little bit to kill the sweet tooth at work, at home I’ll have a piece or two of Russel Stover’s sugar free candies. So good and a few pieces will not kill your carbs for the day.

Working out followed an evolution as well.

Started with DVD’s at home. Loved The Biggest Loser work out DVD’s. Pretty sure there’s a post forever ago about my love affair with them. The DVD’s were great and so was the treadmill and elliptical I had at home.

Then after about 6-8 months of doing the stuff at home, I joined Planet Fitness. I know there is a ton of Planet Fitness hate out there. But seriously?! Just ‘cuz you think the “Lunk” thing is bullshit or are a total CrossFit snob , doesn’t mean you need to get down on people joining any kind of gym. And yes, by hatin’ on the gym, you really make the people who use it feel like you’re looking down on them too. Anyway, I digress. I joined Planet Fitness and found the elliptical. Loved the elliptical. Rocked that bitch for about a year. I did trow in a class or two with the trainer at PF, but I totally cardio bunnied it up in there.

After I talked with the trainer at PF and he explained that burning calories doing cardio vs. lifting weights was like feeling full by eating soup vs. oatmeal. One lasts a lot longer than the other. So, I started with weight machines. Do the row of leg machines and elliptical one day, row of arm machines and elliptical the next day, do the circuit area and elliptical one day…

And on and on and on.

Let me tell you, there is some weight to be moved using machines. But then I took the next evolutionary leap. See, using the machines really doesn’t push you. It’s a start, but you work so much less because you don’t have to use a million other little muscles to keep form. I can do, like, 65 pounds for flies on the machine, but like 20 with free weights, and I hurt so much more when I use the free weights.

So, with the help of a few friends who have gone down a similar path with weight loss/getting toned, a trainer and Fitness Buddy (totally worth the money to buy the app) I now sit down at the beginning of my week and map out what muscle groups I’m doing on what days and make sure I have five balanced days scheduled out.

After moving to free weights, I totally get the whole “Oh Damn, leg day was yesterday. I can’t even sit to pee today” thing.

I mentioned earlier about when I was only worried about the number on the scale. To a degree, I still am. I figure I have about 40-50 pounds before I quit worrying about the scale and worry only about the mirror. See, a girl who doesn’t lift and is 5’5″ at 130 pounds won’t look at good as a girl who lifts and is 5’5″ and tips at 160.

Don’t want to be skinny, want to be fit.


So, best thing about all this?

The energy and endorphin spike I get from eating right and working out.

It totally rocks.

Sorry it’s been so long. Life and all.

Big Yays – 20 pounds down since the begining of May – So that’s good. Only 10 more pounds to get my tattoo expanded!!

But, today, boys and girls, lets talk about what stress does to us.

We all have stress hit in different ways, and while I would love to be the person that has stress hit and can’t eat and winds up cleaning non-stop, I’m not. Well, not all the time at least. Well, not the cleaning bit. I do get so stressed that 500 calories in a day is about the max I can handle. But, mostly I get super stressed and I eat terrible food and want to hide under a blanket and marathon bad TV.

Now, it’s been a while since I had a bout of really bad stress, or at least stress that pushed me to that point. Usually it’s just the run of the mill, pissy attitude and super short temper type of stress.

You know, let me lay some background for you.

I took this summer off to play around and have fun. I always planned to go back to a professional kitchen when Hellian reached full day school. That time has come. I was talking to a friend who told me to apply at the hospital to cook there. Come to find out two of my friends from Culinary are working there too. After doing a lot of thinking, I realized something. This would be it. This would be the last job I looked for so long as I lived in Fairbanks. Shy of opening my own restaurant, this would be the 20 year job for me.

Had the interview yesterday and after talking to them, it seems wonderful. It’s the perfect mix between standard mass production cooking and running your own show in restaurant kitchen. I was excited about the health benefits (our $690/month out of pocket health insurance fee is killing us) but they have a ton of awesome benefits outside that. They partner with the movie theater, a fuel company, AT&T and a ton more to get us breaks on a bunch of stuff. But really, I couldn’t care less about the fringe benefits. I WANT TO GET IN THAT KITCHEN!!!

Anyway, I submitted my application and for the week and a half it took them to call for an interview I was a nervous psycho mess. I would check the online status of my application about, oh, IDK, an average of 20 times a day. Seriously. Not even kidding. Then I got the call and the interview set up. The next 18 hours were spent with me so wigged that I could not eat. Now, in the last 24 hours I went from “coming to” with terrible food in my hand/mouth to being so stressed that my stomach is growling I’m so hungry but absolutely nothing looks or tastes good. I mean, I sit down to eat and I just can’t.

Stress can do some terrible things to us. Send us into some wicked mood swings. It would be so easy if we could just talk ourselvs out of whatever the issue is. Yes, once the stressed bit of our life moves on the problem doesn’t seem that bad. But man, there is just no help for it when it’s right over our head. For a long time I tracked (daily) Yesterday’s calories, stress level exercise and both quality and quantity of sleep – alongside that day’s morning weight. What did I find you ask? Well, I found that if I was stressed or didn’t sleep well the day before, I had a weight gain the next day. But, it’s not just the gain that’s a downer. It turns into this whole self replicating deal – stress leads to poor sleep leads to weight gain leads to lower self esteem leads to less positive thoughts leads to inability to perk yourself up leads to inability to mentally bring yourself above what’s stressing you leads to more stress leads to poor sleep ….. and on and on and on.

In short? Stress sucks.

Tune back in next week kids when I tell you all about the Holy Grail of keeping yourself on track with your weight loss.

So, I’ve been looking through the success stories on My Fitness Pal. And, I’ve been looking at my friends (cough, Iris One L & Bob, cough) who have lost a phenomenal amount of weight and are looking fabulous. I mean truly fabulous.

I found myself thinking “Man, I wish I was posting one of these awesome before and after photo posts and getting all sorts of kudo’s comments.”

Then, the thought hit me. Why not me? Why does it have to be a wish to make one of those posts. I’m the one in control of my body. I’m the one in control of what I eat and how much exercising I do. I’m the one who decided to get up an hour early and workout or to re-set my alarm clock and not work out.

Seriously, why the hell am I sitting here saying “I wish”? It’s totally my show. I, and I alone, am the reason I will or will not have one of those posts in the next 8/12 months.

Seriously, guys. I am an idiot. I mean really? It shouldn’t have taken me this long to have that epiphany. I’m sorry, but me being over weight. It’s not genetics. It’s not the fast food or advertising industry’s fault. It’s not the fault of the resturant when we go out to eat. It’s not the fault of the weather not being ideal 9 months out of the year up here.

It’s mine.

It’s mine due the he choices I made when it came to what I put in my mouth and the activity I did or did not do. I’d like to say that my weight and eating habits are my mom’s fault for cooking 1950’s Americana growing up. Or that a leg injury is the reason I don’t exercise. But those are just excuses. Nothing more. Just sad excuses for being this size.

Guess what. Same goes for you too.

We have started to live in this no personal accountability world. “It’s ok honey, it’s not your fault you didn’t study and your grades are poor. It must be your teachers fault for not understanding how hard it is to be you.” Nope. Sorry. Personal Accountability. I will beat it into my kid if I have to. Blaming someone else gets you nowhere and nothing. Own up to your mistakes. Try harder next time. Everyone fails. Everyone loses sight of the big picture from time to time. Everyone slips up. Everyone needs a little push or encouragement. Why try to blame someone else for the same mistake you made right along side everyone else.

Samuel Beckett said it best, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

So, this is me. Failing better. How about you? Are you failing better this time?


So, I’ve started a few new things. First off, I’ve dropped my calorie intake goals and added a day to my exercise, I was working towards 1580 calories a day, now it’s 1280. I also went from a five days a week work out goal to a 6 days a week workout goal. Last week I had some difficulty sticking to the new calorie goals, but even when I went over, I stayed under the old 1580. So, I’m calling it a win.

I’ve also started this:

  • Calves: 18.4″ from 18.4″
  • Thigh: 27.2″ from 28.1″
  • Hips: 46.8″ from 47.4″
  • Waist: 46.5″ from 47.2″
  • Chest: 39.3″ from 39.5″
  • Bicep: 16.5″ from 16.5″
  • Shoulders: 50.9″ from 51.8”
  • Neck: 15.5″ from 16”
  • Weight: 235.4 from 235.8

Yay’s: I lost a little bit and I started a few new things.

Meh’s: Not a lot of loss, four ounces. Had trouble with my new calorie goals.

  • At least 75% of the time I spend watching TV will be spent on the treadmill. ~ Kind of replaced the treadmill with aerobics. Need to get some balance there.
  • Do not go in a grocery store more than once a week. Even then, if it’s not on the list, I don’t buy it. ~ No, must get better on this one.
  • Work on De-Hoarding our house, get rid of extra clothes, get organized. ~ A forever work in progress.
  • Get up every weekday morning and exercise. ~ Stopped doing this. Will start again this week.
  • Get house “Dinner Party” clean. ~ I get it there, it’s keeping it there that’s the problem.
  • Get a bunch of “Grab and Go” healthy food put together. ~ Not really.
  • Pack lunch the night before, so it’s not a mad dash in the morning. ~ New.

My weight.

The last time I tracked weight on here I was at 230 (not the 220 it says, my scale was optimistic, remember?), so, this is showing ly progress for the last 90 days.

Net Calories Consumed

Here is the calories I consumed in total. Yes, they are all above my calorie goal. This is due to my calorie deficit. Have to eat back what I lose working out, otherwise my body will go into starvation store fat mode. And, some days I just plain went over.

Calories Burned

Here’s the calories I burned working out. A little sporadic, but I’m working on that. I also need to even it out a bit. I am all over the place!

Hey all! So, Phillip was sick last week so I didn’t weigh in. I do have the stats from the week before that I never posted, so, there’s that at least. I’m going to weigh in tomorrow and see how I’ve done!

Anyway, two weeks ago stats:

  • Thigh: 28″ from 28″
  • Hips: 47″ from 47″
  • Waist: 48″ from 48.5″
  • Chest: 41″ from 41.5″
  • Upper Arm: 17″ from 17″
  • Weight: 238.4 from 241

Yay’s: I lost!

Meh’s: I Phillip was sick so I didn’t work out nearly as much as I should have. Also, I turtled on my inches, but last week I lost inches and gained weight.

Honestly, guys. I really want to share this:

Not even kidding. Prior to January 31st, my fitness was non existent. Aside from general daily walking around the house/office, I didn’t do anything. you can see the days where I didn’t do much, but my goal is at least 10 minutes a day. Every week I’m going to try to post this report. It really hit me when I looked at this, I may not be losing as fast as I’d like, but in six weeks, I’ve gone from couch potato to burning about 300-500 calories a day. That’s not too bad. Imagine what another month will look like.

I’m also working on a rather long, this is what I’ve learned, post. The short of the long? Weight loss is weird y’all.