Posts Tagged ‘Eating’

So, it occured to me that I do a ton of “LOOK HOW GREAT I’M DOING” posts, but I really haven’t given a fair timeline. Or, IDK, maybe I have and just don’t remember it. So, here it is.

Right now, at 05/2015, I’ve been following my weight loss/get fit plan for 2.5 years. I’ve come a long way, I’ve made amazing progress, but it’s taken 2.5 years to get here.

It has been hard, there have been seriously low times, especially when I would hit a plateau or would eat unhealthy. Especially the first year. That first year was hell. Seriously. I had SO much mental negativity. My exercise was bare minimum, I mean Biggest loser DVDs 2-3 days a week. And if I skipped a day, whoa, I was super harsh on myself. I mean straight up abusive to myself. It was bad. Same with eating bad. I would eat super unhealthy one day then spend the next week in a downward spiral eating terribly and telling myself I’ll never reach my goals.

Over that first year I spent so much time learning to forgive myself and identifying what was causing me to skip out on workouts (not doing enough to push myself and really get anything out of it so I never saw results) and why I was slipping up on eating (filled out a specific form every time I consumed anything which helped me identify when I was actually hungry and triggers for emotional eating). I also learned, through research and trial/error how to push through plateaus (for me I need to either up the intensity of my workouts or cut 150-200 calories from my diet for a few days and within a week to a week and a half I’d be through the plateau)

The second year was much better, I sailed through skipped gym days, although that rarely happened. Man, once I got used to the endorphins, increased energy level, and the amazement of seeing my weights get heavier and heavier from working out consistently…. it became way too easy to head to the gym. It was easy to push through plateaus and realized that it was okay to have times when I could go back to unrestricted eating for a week or so. Guilt free. But, those times were rare and I always felt like crap from eating things that really weren’t good for me.

Now, in the first half of the third year, half my dirty clothes are gym clothes and if I don’t feel sore, I’m not working out hard enough. It’s weird, I wake up and my muscles are sore and I feel great about my workout the day before, and I can’t wait to do it again. I look forward to being able to finish out my 4th set on a lift without difficultly because that means I get to add more weights to that lift. I have muscle definition happening and I love it. I still have a lot of fat to get rid of, so it’s not that visually impressive yet. But, I like seeing it, even if I still have jiggle around it. I really enjoy eating my high lean protein, tons of veggies and low to no carb foods. I spend a lot of free time looking for protein powder recipes, new lifts and fine tuning my eating habits. I talk with others who lift and follow simaler eating habits, and it’s totally the “How much protein do you consume a day?” and “Bro, what are you lifting right now?” convos. We revel in talking about how sore we are. Seriously. You should hear my friends Chris, Z and myself talk. Me: “DUDE! I upped my weights on squats and deads yesterday. If I drop something, it’s living on the floor.” Chris: *Elbow bump* (Kitchen thing) ~or~ Me: Z! I’m so tired of eating. All I do is eat now. Or look for food…. Z: Right?! I told you! You start lifting and your muscles get hungry. Eating is like a part time job for me. I had 8 eggs for breakfast. Me:…..So hungry. Where’s that left over chicken breast from lunch…..

Also, since the beginning of this year, I have moved from filling carts at Shop Plastic Land, Sourpuss Clothing, Pin Up Girl…. ect. with things I will never buy due to price – to filling up carts with exercise clothes, gym shoes, protein powders, plate weights, dumbbells…. it’s weird. I love when I catch these changes, but it does surprise me. This time last year, I was a totally different person. And, I do like who I’m becoming.

But, and while I’ve made these amazing and great strides, it took so much time, sweat, tears and mental rewiring to get here. And, I’m never going back to the woman I was a little over 2.5 years ago when I started down this road.

Takes Time


So, don’t get me wrong here. I’m really impressed with what my body is doing.

I have arm muscles. Real, defined muscles in there. It was weird, I have never had arm muscles before. I was on the fly machine and noticed this line in my arm when I pulled in. Showed it to Seth and he looked at me like I was nuts, said simply that it was muscle definition. Still look at it in the mirror because it’s new.

Same with my ass muscles. Sitting feels different since I’ve started doing weighted squats and lunges. Do you have any idea how weird it is to have your butt feel foreign when you sit down. 30 some odd years its felt one way and now it’s different… So weird.

But, the one thing that is the hardest for me to wrap my mind around? I am hungry. All the time. The number on the scale is going down, the number on the weights I’m lifting are going up, and I’m always hungry. I mean it. I’m either eating or looking for something to eat.

Seriously. Take the other day for example:

  • Breakfast – 2 eggs, three turkey sausage patties, 1/2 cup oatmeal w/ 1/4 cup blueberries and 2-3oz almond milk and 12oz coffee w/ 3-4oz almond milk
  • Morning Snack – 16oz protein shake
  • Lunch – 6oz chicken breast, 2c steamed green beans
  • Afternoon Snack – 3 chicken tenders w/ 1/4c nacho cheese sauce (don’t judge)
  • Post Workout Snack – 4oz tuna salad made w/ olive oil, lime juice, salt and pepper, 2 slices Dave’s Killer Bread 21 Grain
  • Dinner – 20oz grilled steak, 2c steamed broccoli, 3-4c green salad w/ veggies dressed w/ olive oil, lime juice salt and pepper
  • Evening Snack – 8oz protein shake

Even with all that, I lay in bed that night and realized I was still hungry.

I’m so very tired of eating and always looking for food…. Even as I sit here and type this, having just inhaled about three chicken breasts and some veggies, not 10 minutes ago, I’m hungry and going through the mental catalog of what’s in the house for easy to eat food.

Everyone I talk to who lifts and is fit and all my research and reading on lifting for health says this is totally normal. That it’s my muscles using what it needs and the calorie burn from my exercising that is causing a HUGE deficit. It makes total sense, it really does, it’s just weird and I’m wondering if I’m ever going to get used to it.

But for now, off to find food, or a protein shake…..

That’s really the tract my weight loss has followed.

It all started about a 100 years ago when I lost about 60 pounds doing Atkins. Learned super quick that low carb was totally for me. I could live without pasta and bread, I couldn’t live without bacon.

Like I said, I lost about 60 pounds doing that. Kept it off too. Well, minus the 10 pound gain back after eating normally again. And okay, it wasn’t 100 years, that just might have been an exaggeration. It was probably more like 10 years ago.

Then, in 2013, when I really count this journey starting, I was trying the calorie counting route. Blerg. It was all egg whites and turkey bacon and steamed broccoli and chicken breast only. I went to culinary arts, man. I know how to make food taste amazing. And it’s not by watching how many calories are in it.

About 2 months into what I call Calorie Counting Ickyness, Ideal Protein became a thing. I saw how it worked for a lot of people and I hopped right up on that wagon. It totally works. If you have the extra money and mindset to stick to it – it allows for absolutely zero cheating – I suggest doing it. Only problem was that it really isn’t geared for people who are active. I wasn’t looking to just get skinny, I wanted to be fit too. (Hey, if you’ll notice I changed the title of this blog from “Skinny” to “Fit” – nice yeah?)

So, I kinda followed IP and it did work, but I wasn’t happy because I did not have the energy I needed to work out. So, I lost about 40 pounds doing it, gained back 10 when I added in carbs and normal eating.

Seeing the 10 pound gain back pattern? I did! Good reference for when I was all about the number on the scale. Set my goal for 10 pounds less than I actually wanted to weigh so I’d be at goal with the gain back.

Anyway, my super awesome friend Juice/Jen and I decided to go back on IP and keep each other accountable. Sadly, it didn’t stick, but I did get a copy of the IP for Athlete’s plan out of that endeavor. This allowed, like, half a serving of dairy, whole grain carbs and fruit along with the standard plan. I liked this. My body needed the extra natural sugar and carb boost for fitness. That lasted a good chunk into 2014 before I got tired of the extra cost of IP foods.

Around the end of April 2014 I found the best thing ever for keeping me accountable in weight loss. Diet Bet. I will now and forever sing the praises of – Holy Hell, will I never stop loving that whole deal! You have to put up your own real cashy money and either lose 4% of your body weight in a month or 10% in 6 months. It’s super simple, everyone who reaches the goal splits the pot, those who don’t reach their goal, get nothing. Amazing motivation to stick with your plan. And, I’ve made (actually made, as in not counting the money I put up) around $500. Keeping it all in the bank and going to use it for new clothes!!

Using what I learned about watching carb gram counts from Atkins and cutting out fatty stuff from IP I came up with my own eating plan. And, it’s not a diet, it’s a total eating makeover. Totally easy for me to stick to as well, I mean, there are days when the doughnut spread at work is super tempting, but for the most part, it’s not a struggle to stick to it.

Wanna know what I’m doing?

Of course you do.

Here goes. In a day I can have:

  1. As much lean protein as I want – cooked healthy – no frying!
  2. As many veggies as I want – cooked healthy – steamed, roasted
  3. One cup of tea or coffee and one cup of milk (I drink unsweeted almond) then nothing but water. NOTHING but water. I can toss some lime or lemon in if I want, but that’s it.
  4. At least 10 8oz glasses of water – I usually blow this out of the water by 11am.
  5. One serving of whole fruit – it has to be low carb/high fiber fruits: berries, avocado, apricots, lemon, lime ect.
  6. One serving of whole grain based carbs, two servings if I’m working out that day
  7. No added sugar foods
  8. Low carb whey protein powder or similar high protein/low carb drink for 2 of my three snacks out of the day – or any time I feel hungry and it’s not a meal time
  9. 90% of my fat from healthy sources – avocado, olive oil, unsweetened nut butter, nuts ect. (I say 90% because sometimes I just need bacon)

My workout day menu typically looks like this:

Breakfast:                  1-2 eggs, 2-3oz turkey sausage, 1/2c oatmeal, 1/4 berries, 2ish oz milk, coffee/tea w/milk

Mid Day Snack:         Protein shake or drink

Lunch:                       Lean protein – typically baked, and veggies – typically steamed – As much as I want

Post Wkout Snack:    Dave’s Killer Bread: 21 Grain, 2 tablespoons unsweetened nut butter, protein drink

Dinner:                      Same as lunch

Water Consumption: About 90-150 ounces. Seriously. I have a giant pink water bottle that is 70oz, I drink almost 2 a day.

Non workout days I typically have my carb at dinner – baked sweet potato (NO sweetener) or whole grain dinner roll or small serving of potatoes ect.

Now, I do have a sweet tooth flare up once in a while. And man, the doughnut spread in the Cafe…. dude. I’m there when they get dropped off. The boxes are still warm, the glaze still dripping, and smelling like they just came out of the fryer….. Yeah, it gets tempting. The protein powder I use is much sweeter than I like, so I’ll have a little bit to kill the sweet tooth at work, at home I’ll have a piece or two of Russel Stover’s sugar free candies. So good and a few pieces will not kill your carbs for the day.

Working out followed an evolution as well.

Started with DVD’s at home. Loved The Biggest Loser work out DVD’s. Pretty sure there’s a post forever ago about my love affair with them. The DVD’s were great and so was the treadmill and elliptical I had at home.

Then after about 6-8 months of doing the stuff at home, I joined Planet Fitness. I know there is a ton of Planet Fitness hate out there. But seriously?! Just ‘cuz you think the “Lunk” thing is bullshit or are a total CrossFit snob , doesn’t mean you need to get down on people joining any kind of gym. And yes, by hatin’ on the gym, you really make the people who use it feel like you’re looking down on them too. Anyway, I digress. I joined Planet Fitness and found the elliptical. Loved the elliptical. Rocked that bitch for about a year. I did trow in a class or two with the trainer at PF, but I totally cardio bunnied it up in there.

After I talked with the trainer at PF and he explained that burning calories doing cardio vs. lifting weights was like feeling full by eating soup vs. oatmeal. One lasts a lot longer than the other. So, I started with weight machines. Do the row of leg machines and elliptical one day, row of arm machines and elliptical the next day, do the circuit area and elliptical one day…

And on and on and on.

Let me tell you, there is some weight to be moved using machines. But then I took the next evolutionary leap. See, using the machines really doesn’t push you. It’s a start, but you work so much less because you don’t have to use a million other little muscles to keep form. I can do, like, 65 pounds for flies on the machine, but like 20 with free weights, and I hurt so much more when I use the free weights.

So, with the help of a few friends who have gone down a similar path with weight loss/getting toned, a trainer and Fitness Buddy (totally worth the money to buy the app) I now sit down at the beginning of my week and map out what muscle groups I’m doing on what days and make sure I have five balanced days scheduled out.

After moving to free weights, I totally get the whole “Oh Damn, leg day was yesterday. I can’t even sit to pee today” thing.

I mentioned earlier about when I was only worried about the number on the scale. To a degree, I still am. I figure I have about 40-50 pounds before I quit worrying about the scale and worry only about the mirror. See, a girl who doesn’t lift and is 5’5″ at 130 pounds won’t look at good as a girl who lifts and is 5’5″ and tips at 160.

Don’t want to be skinny, want to be fit.


So, best thing about all this?

The energy and endorphin spike I get from eating right and working out.

It totally rocks.

Well, I’m trying to decide whether or not to delay IP for a while.

These holidays are nothing but stress, and I’ve only gotten past one small one (Thanksgiving) with the biggest still looming (Christmas).

I don’t feel like dealing with everything that comes with the holidays. I just don’t. I’m still lost and I’m still not sure I can ever get over/past what happened last year. The holidays are a time that I find it incredibly difficult to keep up the fake “Everything awesome and I’m doing fine, life is a joy” line. And, not sticking to IP is just causing more stress. Along with making me feel like a failure for not being able to cope with my stress.

I don’t want to stop, but I’m not sure I can handle the added stress right now. Food has always been a comfort thing. Goes back forever.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just do IP for breakfast, lunch and snacks but eat regularly for dinner.

For those not savvy, IP is shorthand for Ideal Protein.

It’s the magical diet into lifestyle change that has done wonders for so many people I know. I’ve watched a friend go from a L/XL to a M in two / three months. I’ve watched a woman at my kiddo’s head-start program, literally become half the person she was 8 months ago.

Today is day one for me.

And I’m already worried. I think I’m gonna have a hard time with the food. I’m not worried about quantity. No, there isn’t a lot of food in the packets, but everything is made with protein powder so it’s really dense and filling. It’s the flavor that worries me. Because EW. And ick. It’s pretty ew and icky. at lease the “eggs” are.

We’ll see. I’m determined to stick with it. I figure I’ll look at weaning a month or so before my birthday. Unless of course I lose super fast. Then I’ll wean when I’ve got about 10ish pounds left.


I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t going to have a scale in the house. That I would drive myself nuts and I was only going to step on a scale once a week at TOPS.

Well, I went out and bought one. A nice one. It’s all digital and tells you all sorts of things, like how hydrated you are, your body fat percentage bone density and a bunch of other things.

What I’ve been doing is stepping on everyday right after I shower. I’m tracking my daily weight in relation to the food I ate and my emotional status the day before, as well as the the quality and quantity of sleep I had the night before.

The trick, and this is what I’m having a hard time with, is still only really looking at the weight number as the weigh in once a week. Our weigh can, and will, change by up to a few pounds each day. It’s really easy to get discouraged if I’m three pounds heaver because of water retention or poor sleep than I was the day before. And, it’s likely that it’ll be gone the next day.

So, we’ll see, I’m hopeful.

(First off, y’all have NO flippin’ idea how hard it was to not spell that Sabobtage. A derby sister, and woman who is literally almost 1/2 the woman she was a year ago, spells her derby name that way. And, since Bob is one of my biggest “I wanna lose weight like that” inspirations, I’d totally love to give her a nod. But this seems like it’d be more of a dig with this post. And I don’t want that.)


Day before yesterday I stepped on our new scale (yes, I did go out and buy one, but that’s another post) and realized that I could very well break 230 at this week’s weigh in.

So, what do I do? I eat yesterday like I haven’t eaten in a long time.

Why in the hell do we do that? Why, WHY  whould I knowingly sabotage myself? I really don’t think I did any damage to the weigh in. I still worked out yesterday.

Seriously guys, why is it we think we don’t deserve to reach our goals? Why don’t we think we can’t be happy? I mean it. Please comment on this one. I’m totally at a loss as to why so many people self sabotage. I know last night as I was eating a chocolate cake with cherry pie filling and whipped cream parfait, one part of my mind was yelling at me to “JUST FUCKING STOP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!” while the other part was going “Eh. It’s not like I’m actually going lose all the weight I’ve set out to lose. Look at all the times I’ve tried and failed.”

That part of my brain needs to sit the hell down and never open its mouth again. Ever. I’m serious. This morning it’s all guilt and being angry with myself and just….. not a good mental day.

So, from here on out. NO MOAR SELF SABOTAGING!!!!

For any of us.


I mean it.

If I catch myself self sabotaging again I’m going to post on MFP (which posts to both my fb and Twitter accounts) and make a blurb post here. I know a lot of you don’t comment, but I see the views my page gets every day. And that’s enough to know that I’ve got people watching me.